A few years ago, I was sitting in a meeting with my Vistage Trusted Advisors team (a professional peer review group) when our host, Lori Blatt, threw us a curveball. Instead of doing the typical host business review, Lori put on a video and told us to relax and watch it. The video was a Ted talk featuring Simon Sinek entitled How Great Leaders Inspire Action. This 18-minute video opened my eyes. I was so impressed with Simon Sinek’s talk that I went out and bought his book on the same subject: Start With Why.
In a nutshell, Sinek claims that people won’t follow you simply because of what you do; rather, leaders inspire because of why they do what they do. His examples included Apple, Martin Luther King Jr., and the Wright Brothers. It’s a compelling story that I bought hook, line and sinker. You start with why, which leads to how, and results in what you do. Sounds simple, right? Sadly, this isn’t the way most leaders think, and those who don’t project why they do what they do don’t sustain success. This isn’t only true for business; it applies in all walks of life.
So, with this newfound knowledge, I asked myself: what is my why?
I really hadn’t thought about this before, being happy learning about the great examples Simon Sinek showed me and reading the specifics of how this all works in his book. I’ve always fancied myself a leader, but I never examined what made me a pretty good one (I’ve been told that I am, so I don’t want to sound like I’m tooting my own horn here). One of the things I’m most proud of myself for is that I’m the same person no matter what the circumstance. Business. Family. Friends. Society. It doesn’t matter who I’m dealing with; I always talk and act the same way. No situation seems too big or too small for me to be myself. I’ve gotten to know a lot of great people in my life, and I can count on one hand the ones I would no longer associate with (nor they with me). This makes me happy.
And then it hit me: my why.
“I believe that I was put on this earth to enter into long-lasting, positive relationships with as many people as possible.”
Whew. That’s a tall order, it’s a good thing I’m an extrovert! But, how do I do this?
“When I meet someone, I immediately act as if I’ve known them for my entire life, and often this leads to meaningful conversations in a short period of time.”
Wow. That’s me. Ask those in my life who interact with me the most (my wife, my kids, my boss, my coworkers, my close friends) and I think they would agree. I drive my family crazy with the way I will talk to anybody, and when they ask me “who was that,” I will often answer them “I don’t know, I just met them.” This ability informs my business success as well. Although I sell energy for a living, which as a commodity business can be very price-driven, I follow a relationship sales model. I have many long-standing customers and consultants who I consider friends. They do business with me because they like me and are comfortable working with me. I may not always have the lowest price, but my service to them is second to none. I always respond promptly, tell the truth, even if it’s bad news, and solve problems as quickly as I can. Simple, right?
So, why am I writing about this in a Tiki blog?
First, it’s my blog and I like to write, so deal with it!
Second, this is a story that’s been bouncing around in my head recently, and I needed to get it out, so here it is.
Third, I’ve been documenting my Tiki journey in these blog posts, and the one consistent theme has been the friends I’ve made over the past 10 years in the ohana.
Tiki is one of my newest walks of life, but I’ve gotten to know a lot of people in a short period of time. With the advent of the Internet, Facebook and social media in general, it’s even easier to develop meaningful relationships. Take my buddy George Borcherding (pictured with me on the cover image for this post), for example. George and I got to know each other via Facebook, as we travel in many of the same Tiki circles. George lives over 1,000 miles away from me in Jacksonville FL, but I consider him a good friend and Tiki brother. We’ve gotten together a few times now, all at Walt Disney World’s Polynesian Village Resort, where we’ve knocked back many Dole Whips and Tiki drinks together. George has inspired me with his love of Tiki, and I hope I have done the same for him. Mahalo Nui Keoki, I love you bruddah!
George is the exception, as most of my Tiki friends are people I haven’t actually met. No matter. Thanks to phones and the internet, I’ve had meaningful conversations with Tiki people all over the world. The syndicated radio/podcast host in Sydney, Australia. The Tiki mug maker in Paris, France. The Tiki wood carver in Kauai, Hawaii. The musicians in Jacksonville, Miami, Houston, and Los Angeles. The artists in LA, Seattle, Salt Lake City, and Melbourne Beach, Florida. The list goes on, and I don’t want to mention all of the names for fear of forgetting somebody. If you’ve read my blog posts, you know who these good people are.
The moral of my story is this: relationships matter to me. A lot. I’m good with that, and glad to know it helps me in all aspects of my life. That’s my why.
What’s your why?
You can check out Simon Sinek’s Ted talk here: https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action
After you’ve watched the video, read the book: https://www.amazon.com/Start-Why-Leaders-Inspire-Everyone/dp/1591846447
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